Oh, I may look like a Republican senator
’s wife. I’ll grant you that.
But appearances can be deceiving, can’t they?
Yes, it’s true: I’m a tall, skinny white chick.
But I’m a FREAK. In the absolute Best Way Possible.
Most men are intimidated and terrified by a Sexually Adventurous Woman. Well, I’m the version of that woman who will send you running for your life, in a raining puddle of little boy tears, frantically searching for your mama.
I can even BE your mama if you want or need me to.
I can be your teacher. I can be your student. I can be the blonde cheerleader you never got to sleep with but used to jerk off thinking about. I can be the fucking blue-haired organist at your Southern Baptist church.
I’ll call you Daddy and let you call me by the name of your teenaged daughter’s best friend.
(Tammy, am I right?)
And we haven’t even started on my bucket list of fantasies yet.