I felt compelled to issue one of my standard ALARMS today that reads in a pulsing banner across the Recipient’s smartphone screen:
“Jennifer’s very sorry to break this to you, but:
Like I said, she apologizes and realizes this comes as a shock to you.
She KNOWS you’re in shock right now- she just does.
And like I said, she’s sorry.
However, she plans on changing nothing.
Not a single-ass thing.
I’m considering having tee-shirts made to save myself some time and effort. No exclamation points, fancy grammar, or fancy spelling would be necessary.
What size do you want yours in?