DUMBO
(Minus the Ears)

I’m The Dumbest Person Who’s Ever Walked on The Earth’s “Face”
(Seriously, who came up with “walked the face of the earth”? It’s nonsensical, either literally or metaphorically).
But I’m SO DUMB,
I take My Most Virtuous Qualities,
Like compassion, empathy, intelligence, charisma, and concern for the suffering of others,
Project them onto Potential Romantic Partners
(Who are ANYTHING but romantic) ,
Pray they stick,
Or at least LATCH ON a bit.
Then, when they don’t,
Because of course they don’t,
I Pretend that they did.

This scenario would serve as the Exemplar should someone coin the term “Excessively Well-Endowing,”

Conducted with Eyes Wide Shut.

Surely that’s Dumb? And Dumber.
Like I said at the start:
“Dumbest”.