MEMO REGARDING PRIOR MEMO
TO: All Recipients of This Memo
RE: The Last Memo
This memo regards my Last Memo in which I instructed All Recipients to immediately evacuate their homes and Head Directly to Hell.
No detours will be tolerated save for the one mandated below.
The sole purpose of THIS Useless Memo is to follow up with a few questions:
1. Are you there yet?
2. Are you at least in the car?
3. Do you have your phone? I’d feel better since you won’t leave without it.
4. Do you have your wallet and something to drink? You might be getting thirsty soon.
5. Are you in possession of sufficient fuel to remove Yourself and Your Property from My Neighborhood?
6. [I don’t think you’ll be needing an overnight bag]
7. Lastly, are you heading in the Correct Direction?
You’re welcome to Head OVER to The Hotel California: I don’t THINK you’ll be checking back out, but if you do, the correct direction is
HEAD SOUTH AND NEVER STOP.
Thank you for at least being Able To Read (it’s terribly difficult to find Legible Help these days), but I can’t say it was a pleasure doing business with you.
In fact, the Only Place I’d entertain even a Terrible Whiff of a Suggestion of Repeat Business with You is if…..
MANY YEARS from now…..
BOTH downtrodden and down on our luck (or DESPERATELY horny; either works)……
We BOTH turn up looking Far Older Than Our Years, fully realized into
The Most Liver-Pickled Barflies of All Tine…..
In the Lobby Bar
at The Hotel California.