♨️♨️ (Only the rambling is sexually damning! And the famous designer I cannot name is actually “Vera Wang!”)
Photo courtesy @timtanzy

Everything is a matter of lighting.

My hair looks one color in the salon and another color at home. The top I ordered online looks purple on my iPhone and blue in my hands. I suppose I’m clinically plagued by lighting. In fact, lighting goes from adequate-to-horrible the closer it gets to me until

I’m suddenly struck unbearably unphotogenic!!

You’d fully realize The Tragedy if you knew how 1) photogenic and 2) yes, even TELEGENIC I used to be!

For SO many years, in SO many different situations, and on multiple multiple (is that exponential?) occasions!!

Now, there are actually times (don’t tell anyone, please: it’s confidential), I can barely pull off A Gorgeous Face, A Shapely Shape, And A Nonpareil Smile. Don’t tell my fans, please. I don’t want them to worry about my struggles behind closed doors.

So I DO pull off A Gorgeous Face, A Shapely Shape, And A Nonpareil Smile.

I do it every damned day, ALL DAY, and I do it for KEEPS, and I do it ALL THE WAY THROUGH!!

Like this is The Last Moment in My Entire Life I’ll ever have A Gorgeous Face, A Shapely Shape, And A Nonpareil Smile!!

As if!! As if ANY moment could EVER be the LAST moment I’D ever have A Gorgeous Face, A Shapely Shape, And A Nonpareil Smile!!

And another “As If”:


Or as if a highly-annoying traffic situation (and some of those?) could dim my megawatt grin? It brightens so high,

I RELY on its dazzle

As well the dazzling green of my eyes to drive me through the night, since I’m officially “night-blind.”

If it weren’t for these long-lashed, greenish-gray (bright emerald green when I cry) sparkling seducers, gaze-lockers, and gaze-fixers of a pair of glamorous eyes,

How would I save My Very Own Life?

To finish my apparently-so-important-I’d-drive-while-night-blind-AND-night Drive to Who and God Only Knows Where?

And how could I See The Light if not for these hypnotic, poetically baiting and alluring, delightfully disturbing, emerald palace of a pair of glittering green eyes?

How could I discern My Days from My Nights if not for for the mascara’d-until-lavish, extravagantly long and lush, luxy, eyelashes providing protection to
My perfectly-shaded, perfect shade of perfectly green eyes?

I’ll bet, with the right equipment, my eyes could turn ALL SHADES OF GREEN.

For too long to count (a little over-exposure isn’t always bad). You couldn’t KEEP count, anyway, having been Absinthed into a sentimental stupor by the little fogs of gray around my retinas. They’ve been known to harm and disarm!

Like I’ve said on multiple occasions this evening alone: I know I have A Gorgeous Face, Shapely Shape, And A Nonpareil Smile,

But it’s STILL ALL a matter of Lighting.

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