Dear Businesses I have Patronized Regularly:

If I hear Another Person Yelling me
They’re “Bringing me Something-for-Free,”
While charging a Monthly Subscription Fee,
And subjecting me to
[Frequent], [[Repeated]]
!Constant Endorsements!,
I shall SCREAM
And Promise To Flee;
Conduct My Business
Somewhere Else.

MY ONLY THREAT? Bare Finania££y.
MY IMPACT? Nano-Minu$-0ne.
But Most Mucho-Micros I Know In Person,
At least on The Individual’s Basis,
Are the Kind of Folks who are SO MUCHO,
They Mucho ALL Their Micro Group-Impact into A MACROECONOMIC One;
So Please Remember and Forget Me Not.

Signed,
A Merry Band of Nobody
Who won’t Remind You of Her Age,
Just her Loyal Patronage.