I guess I’ve been on another planet the last few days, and it’s probably a good thing because I’ve been pretty emotionally fragile.

So, unlike everyone else in America, I just heard about the senseless, mind-blowing, tiny-body-blowing Absurd /Inexcusable / NAUSEATINGLY DISGUSTING VIOLENCE that took place an hours’ drive from me 4 days ago.

I watched our governor’s speech, given shortly after 19 people (most of them very small people incapable of defending themselves in any way against an assault rifle) were murdered in this Pornographic Explosion of Hatred and Killing of Our Future.

He spoke about “securing crime scenes to prevent similar future tragedies” but didn’t mention increasing restrictions on guns or assault rifles IN ANY WAY.

I’m an 8th Generation Texan on both sides, but you’re welcome to my Texas Citizen card if you want it. Students at UT Austin (my undergraduate alma mater) are allowed to carry heat on campus ANY TIME THEY WANT. And we all know how infrequently late teenagers and young adults experience surges of difficult and uncomfortable emotions when away from home for the first time!

Basically, I want to leave Texas because of the Constant Heat, which makes it a very dangerous place to live. THIS cowgirl has begun making plans to seek out Greener, Safer Pastures.

Don’t worry, Texas: I won’t MESS with you! I’m clearly outnumbered and definitely out-GUNNED!