Area of Study:
The Grooming Rituals of a female Homo Sapien.
Applicable Lab Rat Varieties:
Not Young, Exceptionally Tall, Bony, Angular, Tall, Very Tall, Even Taller
Experiment:
Observe the female bathing in a small-to-standard-sized human bathtub.
Observation by Steps:
1. The female runs the bath (note: unlike similar lab rats, this one maintains a steady stream of self-conversation).
2. The female proceeds to “envelop herself” into the water-full bathtub.
3. She next commences to soap, scrub, and groom herself for approximately 30 minutes.
4. She removes the drain plug, emptying the tub of water until
5. The 3 inch mark of 🛟“NO BUOYANCY LEFT”🛟, at which point
6. She appears to notice soap bubbles affixed to her lower torso.
7. Seemingly startled, she rushes to replug the drain and
8. Then flips her significant “bone structure” into the PRONE (‘face-first’) position, which
9. Does NOT appear to be conformable to the Lab Rat, yet she
10. Maintains it for an additional 5 minutes, grimacing significantly for the last 2 until
11. Exiting the tub, thus completing the Observation Cycle.
Questions for Further Study:
1. Which similar Human lab rats WOULD get into a prone position in 3” of water in a bathtub?
2. Which Humans COULD get into a prone position in 3” of water in a bathtub?
3. Which Humans SHOULD get into a prone position in 3” of water in a bathtub?
Most Important Question:
WHY would Any Human get into a prone position in 3” of water in a bathtub?
We asked the Lab Rat.
Her Replies:
“The best laid plans of of Mice & Men often go awry” and
“Shit happens.”