Asking For Which Part?

ASKING FOR: WHICH PART?

Are you asking for my hand tonight?
If so, I won’t lie or not reply
To feign Aloofness,

For I may be the Goofiest
Gorgeous babe you’ve laid Eyes on,
And I don’t need to bear your spawn.

Too far down that road am I,
Though I can surely
romanticize and fantasize
About those fancy cocktail drinks,
As well as other Sexy Things.

CATCH & RELEASE

CATCH & RELEASE

I am quite The Catch, you see;
Don’t mind when you lay eyes on me
Then throw me back in Waters Deep.

Unhooking and Unbaiting me
Shows a Kindness rarely seen,
Returns Me where I need to be:

Home within my Choppy Seas,
Where I can swim as I wish
In Plethora’s schools of
More Attractive Fish.

NOT MY PLEASURE🌶

NOT MY PLEASURE

I think your hopes for flings
Are rooted in fantasy
Rather than reality,
Given your responsibilities,
Worthy and important, too,
And of highest value to you;
It’s not a crime
To spend your time
On the greatest treasures
To your heart and mind.
I understand You’re a man
Who takes matters into hand,
Protecting his peeps and land.
It’s a worthy honor
I don’t dishonor,
Just respect
Though it neglects
My built-up dreams
To Release screams
Of withheld Pleasure
Beyond measure
At my Leisure,
Since I’d imagined
Sexual treasure
Beyond Wildest Measure.
But of course,
There’s always More
On that score,
At least for me,
Most Hastily.

HIDDEN MOTIVES

HIDDEN MOTIVES

I think the fact
You know my name
Shows your plays
To run The Game.

Surely numbers, too,
Are known by You
And then withheld
And Undisclosed:
This controls
The Info Flow.

How do I know These Things?
I do not know.
I just know
There’s NOTHING
I don’t know
When it comes
To what I know
About Motives:
1. Declared,
2. Unspoken, and
3. Unknown.

[Its ESP, or so I’m told].

NETFLIX & CHILL

NETFLIX & CHILL

You’ll get carved up and
burnt to cinder at
the hellish meat market
known as Tinder.

OK Cupid’s pretty stupid,

But you can always give a jingle
Over on Christian Mingle.

I’m told Bumble keeps one humble.

The freshest catch is pretty stale
At Plenty of Fish,
but You can sail for free
should other efforts fail.

If you still can’t find Her,
I’d suggest you try Grinder.

That’s the best advice that I can grant
When cyber-searching for your better half.

This poem’s inspiration
Is my OWN degradation
And pathological hating
Of internet dating!

I’m NOT a trust fund, Babe!

I’m no trust fun babe;
I’ll have to trust,
Trust at least,
Or at least enough,
To trust the reason
You’re with Me
Isn’t because you believe
I’m a tree in full spring leaf
Growing stores of EverMoney.
Didn’t Mama tell You, Honey?
You don’t wanna Gal who’s Made of Money!
They fend and cope like No One Else.
And even just the Rich at Heart
ALWAYS set themselves Apart
By the Way They Love Themselves❣️
So I must trust for US “What’s Best?”
Is: Grow your Money for Yourself!

WHY I AM NOT A MURDERER


After watching a true crime video (YouTube know where) about Murder-For-Hire as an Industry, I have some newly-acquired information to share.

The main Victims are The Spouse and The Top Motives are:

1) Life Insurance Policy and
2) He doesn’t want to be with Her anymore [for whatever reason].

I used to actually think about Getting Married Again, even up until a maybe a year ago. Don’t tell anybody because I don’t anymore.

However, if someone SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET, I would insist on the getting the following Pre-Nuptial Agreement SIGNED & NOTARIZED FIRST:

1. NEVER take out a life insurance policy on Me. EVER. I have contracted with the following Reporting Agency which will alert me if a life insurance policy is ever taken out in my name, and
2. Have the guts to tell me you want to kill me rather than actually kill me. Please. I will promise the same in return.

Do keep in mind, Murder-for-Hire levels the playing field and there are some angry females out here. TRUST me.

Most of us, according to the video, don’t act on it. The ones who get “stung” trying to order a hit from an undercover cop are positively CHILLING.

The main reason Murdering Someone isn’t an option for me? There was a term We used to get pretty riled up about Last Millennium called “Mutually Assured Destruction.” I think it describes what happens to both the Murder Victim, the MurderER, and Both Parties’ respective “Loved Ones” (even though I don’t currently have any right now).

I’d ask you if you’ve heard of MAD, but I’m pretty sure the term was disarmed from our Collective Lexicon 20-30 years ago.

My First Attempt at Fiction (content advisory: 🌶🔥♨️)

TEXTVERSATION

I doubt you’re ever going to meet anyone else like me throughout the entire rest of your life. I’m simply stating a fact. If I could give you some advice, it would be to take whatever I’m offering whenever I’m offering it, because you won’t be getting anything like it ever again.

What is it like?

See, now you’ve gone and blown your chance so you’ll never know. Big unfortunately for you.

I doubt that but if you say so. I’m over here rock hard just imagining what you were going to say. I guess ill have to handle this problem again.

I guess you will. I was going to tell you about my waxing appointment, the post-waxing maintenance, and the “special feature” I opted for. But now I’m not.

What features?

Take your own matters into your own damn hands.

As you wish.

Lagoon again. No conversation. You have a technique for weaseling out of emotional intimacy of any kind. I actually expected the OPPOSITE from you. Then again, based on your online dating profile, I mistakenly thought you were 15 years OLDER than you actually are (lie much?) until two weeks ago. Which pretty much explains the last 2 weeks.

That plus you don’t hurt good enough yet, inside or out. Call me if you ever do.

[Professional Writers: I think I’ve managed to capture the male’s essence, but I REALLY, REALLY need know if the female character sounds like Amber Heard!!]

Call Me!!

A TINY TUESDAY CONFECTION

Long to see your face.
THERE’S not far away;
HERE can’t make me stay.
C’mon, whatcha say?
You hold all the sway.
Should I hear my name?
Be there right away!

(Thanks @jwyron for the photo)

DIGITAL COMPETITION

I’ve noticed within the last 6 months or so that single Men prefer Technology’s Version of Love to that of a Living, Breathing, REAL WOMAN. Or at least the Love of THIS Real Woman! These guys find digital gratification through digital images. For some, the sourcing of these images even crosses criminal lines.

Sadly [for me at least], “This” is what passes for “Love” in 2022 – at least for SOME men. And “Some Men” are the “Only Men” I meet!

Not that any of them actually admit to it so bluntly. And I MYSELF admit a Woman has to be PRETTY jaded to see so much UGLY-ness everywhere!

But I AM, so I DO.

In The Digital Woman, I see the same Flaws and Imperfections I HAVE – that ALL WOMEN HAVE – expertly Airbrushed from public view. The Orchestrators of Digital Love shouldn’t waste their time and money on Erasure Efforts because they’re entirely unnecessary; the Combination of Ease, 24/7 “Yes”-ness, and Nakedness will Reduce and Seduce a Man into the kind of Cyberblindness begging to grant Cyberpasses.

So MY romantic future looks very bleak – at least to Me! And listen folks: I’m cynical and jaundiced enough to realize I AM the Only Divorced Person My Age. Yet I was STILL foolishly hoping for one Last (long overdue!) Passionate Love Affair before I exchange Occasional Vulgarity for Perennial Perfection.

Not Anymore and Not Because death is hovering or any other Reasonable Reason. I’ve simply Lost Romantic Hope and Discarded all Nonexistent Intimate Expectations. You would, too, if Your Dating Pool preferred your karaoke videos to their NEARBY, flesh-covered, Large-AS-Life Counterpart.

I’ve decided to Not Give a Crap. After all, I enjoy my karaoke videos, too.

If You’re an Ocean

If You’re an Ocean

If you’re an Ocean contemplating WHATEVER with WHOMEVER, but he’s a Lagoon: DON’T DO IT!! Even if you have Nobody Else!

Time spent Alone, as an Ocean, means less time masquerading as a Lagoon.

Imagine the Thunderous Wildness of The Ocean contained within a lagoon?

It’s Utterly Inconceivable.

The Inner Implosiveness of it would be catastrophic to the likes of which… Just Entropy Magnitude. Black Hole.. Victim Mentality. Terrible Tragedy. To the degree of: Exponential, stratospheric, perpendicular, geographic, unidimensional, one-sided, stereotypical, unilateral, fore-thinking, foreshadowing,neverbefore-seen, unintentionally-intended, once-in-a-lifetime, overly dramatic, HORMONALLY OUTRAGED levels!!

A TASTE OF IT

I may be smart but really dumb
At MY age to sign up to Run
And Chase You and other Sons-of-Guns
Who want to house me Under Thumb.

It’s time I find Myself a Clue,
And Get the Hell AWAY from You!

I’ll hold Myself both Tall and Free.
Newly Freed, I’m Free Indeed,
Bursting with the Fully Free
Freedom Only Found in Me.


(Thanks to @nicholasampson for the photo)

CATFISH VIBES!!

I am getting Catfish vibes
Instinct is the Reason Why
I don’t plan to “conversate”;
It’s an option that I hate
Because It doesn’t work for me,
Can’t test Your Sincerity.
Never understood the long haul game,
Extort, deceive, game, or play?
No option smells of truth,
More the smell of rotten food.

(Thanks for the photo, @prelevic.milos)