LOST, GROPING, OUT OF PRACTICE, & TAKING IT OUT ON YOU!!

LOST, GROPING, & OUT OF PRACTICE

Sicko-Infant
Dally & Taunt
Lose-Her
Repeat Lose-Hers
Imp-Rob-Babble Choice
No Gel A’Tween Us
Serial Box Shredder
Serially Sadistic Lose-Hers
Discussed and Discussed until Disgusting
I guess it’s what you do when you’ve been Misplaced and Lost?
Repeatedly.
Somehow (probably by not taking chances) I got so out of practice, I think forgot all The Rules.
Thanks for putting up with me while I get reacquainted with Betrayal and Shitty Treatment!
I started to get a little high-minded for a while, there.
Whoo! It feels good to be back squarely in My Place.
It may be LAST PLACE, but I didn’t need FIRST PLACE in THIS Particular RACE!

ADVERBS IN MY FUTURE

I’m dating myself, but as soon as I titled this post, I went to YouTube to find the Schoolhouse Rock song it triggered in my memory (along with lots of great other informative ditties I still remember!)

ADVERBS IN MY FUTURE

I have a huge change on my horizon that, frankly, I’ve been postponing.

I know the WHEN and the WHY for it; I haven’t figured out the WHAT OF (different from the WHY) or the WHERE.

I figure the HOW will clarify itself itself once THEN is NOW or SOON.

If it grows into Worry, what’s the point? NOW will arrive and quickly turn into BEFORE, so I don’t want to waste too much NOW stressing about THEN.

A CALL TO ARMS

MY TEAM OF HOMIES ARE BONY

A CALL TO ARMS

I heard Jennifer Lopez is running her mouth and talking smack about us skinny bitches again.

If those zaftig bitches don’t stop shooting trash out of BOTH sides of their pretty gobs, we’e gonna have some serious West-Side-Story hand-to-hand street action.

Any DAY now.

A Great Face is Hard to Fake


No amount of time
Can stake a claim,
Claim to waste,
Or attempt to erase
A truly great,
Greatly True face.

To even acquire One
Requires EXTRA time
To build and bake,
Then disgrace
Into The Greatest
Of All Faces.

It’s The Last Act
That’s halfway Gracious,
So Accept it,
Don’t disdain it, and

Shine for the Sake of
ALL That’s Beautiful
Inside AND Outside of
Impossibly Gorgeously
Beautiful You.

Don’t worry, I’ll gladly
Shine with you; will YOU
Be Chance-of-Shining
With US TWO, too?

The latest and greatest of
Good News globally for you is:


“You no longer have to await
The Sun’s Return
Before allowing
Your OWN baby rays
To blaze reflectly through.”

Even a shadowy glimpse of my skeleton’s bared-toothy grin darkly deflected back at me in the middle of the night has glared me into a terrified, startled response.

A Dinosaur Among Us

Thanks to barneydew.com for the photo

TALES OF A DINOSAUR

Who the hell do I think I am?
No one cares what I say on Instagram,
Facebook is too fake to face,
And they treat me like a
Stupid boob on YouTube.

I honestly think it comes down to Matters Of Age,
And what Matters most these days
Is a youthful, pretty face.

The former offends me,
The latter flatters me.
I guess 50% of Both
Is Good Enough for me.

HIGHLY EXCLUSIVE

I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I’m a Despiser of societal norms and observed patterns which confound.

I can’t understand the high Followed By: Follow Back ratios I see on ALL social media.

Does it help you prove you’re a Creator rather than a Follower?

And why is this so important? I simply don’t understand.

Someone please explain it to the Dinosaur who still lurks amongst us, but who surprisingly, still believes in a semblance of Reciprocity.

Generational Alphabet: Medium & Longer

GENERATIONAL ALPHABET

Gen A Means Androgygny.
Gen B: Bra Misogyny.
Gen C for All Cat Ladies.
G GenDer: Fluidity.
Gen Weird: Camp “Nuditity”.
Gen K for the Key Parties.
Gen P Parties Heartily;
Gen T those darn Tea Parties!
Gen U’s for the Underdog.
Gen V is for Vampire Love.
Gen Z: Zest most Youthfully.


EXPANDED GENERATIONAL ALPHABET‼️

Gen A Means Androgygny.
Gen B: Bra Misogyny.
Gen C for All Cat Ladies.
Wouldn’t wanna hit the the sack
With Gen’s D’s Double-Whammed Attack.
F GenDer: Fluidity.
Camp Weird: Gen “Nuditity”.
Gen K’s for the Key Parties.
Millennials have Lost their Keys
And Gen Me’s still a Mystery.
Gen P Parties Heartily;
Gen T dumped those Tea Parties!
Gen U’s for the Underdog.
Gen V is for Virtual Love
As well as Vulnerability.
Gen-X Longs for “Much More Sex.”
Gen Z’s Name is often “ZANE;”
Lives filled up with Zestful Days.
What Letter do you then select,
Grasp at straws then hunt and peck,
When New Gens Hit with fresh Impact?

WHY I AM NOT A MURDERER


After watching a true crime video (YouTube know where) about Murder-For-Hire as an Industry, I have some newly-acquired information to share.

The main Victims are The Spouse and The Top Motives are:

1) Life Insurance Policy and
2) He doesn’t want to be with Her anymore [for whatever reason].

I used to actually think about Getting Married Again, even up until a maybe a year ago. Don’t tell anybody because I don’t anymore.

However, if someone SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET, I would insist on the getting the following Pre-Nuptial Agreement SIGNED & NOTARIZED FIRST:

1. NEVER take out a life insurance policy on Me. EVER. I have contracted with the following Reporting Agency which will alert me if a life insurance policy is ever taken out in my name, and
2. Have the guts to tell me you want to kill me rather than actually kill me. Please. I will promise the same in return.

Do keep in mind, Murder-for-Hire levels the playing field and there are some angry females out here. TRUST me.

Most of us, according to the video, don’t act on it. The ones who get “stung” trying to order a hit from an undercover cop are positively CHILLING.

The main reason Murdering Someone isn’t an option for me? There was a term We used to get pretty riled up about Last Millennium called “Mutually Assured Destruction.” I think it describes what happens to both the Murder Victim, the MurderER, and Both Parties’ respective “Loved Ones” (even though I don’t currently have any right now).

I’d ask you if you’ve heard of MAD, but I’m pretty sure the term was disarmed from our Collective Lexicon 20-30 years ago.

INDUSTRY

I don’t care; don’t give a shit
I’ve begged and prayed for years to get
A decent offer of a job.
12 years I’ve spent jerking off
Receivers of my Resume,
My words designed to woo and sway.
It never did an ounce of good
As I must now get stamps for food.
But even if I don’t,
It doesn’t change a single thing:
I’m well aware that Industry
Gives not the slightest whit ‘bout Me.
“We Seek Individuality,
And Pride on our Diversity,”
Claim they with much Dishonesty,
While lying through their front eye teeth.

This LinkedIn Game


This LinkedIn Game is killing me.
The things people expect to see!
Your status and Job History
Must be updated and complete,
All jobs held uber-recently.
Should you possess a Vacancy
Or took time off for Other Things,
It’ll bite you in the ass.

Just wait and see.

Getting a Clue

Given the rise in popularity of the “True Crime” genre of entertainment, I decided to improve the Clue board game.

It didn’t seem – to ME, at least – that the theoretical mansion was particularly large or the theoretical murderers particularly adept. I decided to improve your play by adding new rooms (“crime scenes”) and killing objects (“murder weapons”). My generosity isn’t endless, however, so you’re still stuck with Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard.

CRIME SCENES:
Attic
Breakfast Room
Cabaña
Den
Eat-in kitchen
Family Room
Gym
Hobby Room
Indoor Pool
Java [the] Hut
Kitchen
Laundry
Media Room
Nursery
Office
Pantry
Quarters
Rumpus Room
Sunroom
Toilet
Underground Pool
Vault
Walk-in Closet
Xylophone Jam Room
Yard, Front/Back/Side/Prison
Zen Garden


MURDER WEAPONS:
Antifreeze
Bare hands
Candelabra
Dagger
Electricity
Fire
Glass
Heroin
Icepick / Innuendo
Jackknife
Kill Kit / Kindness
Louisville Slugger
Mixed Martial Arts
Necktie
Overdose
Plutonium
Quill
Rattlesnake
Sword
Talons/ Taser
Uzzi
Vibrator, X-tra Large
Water
X-acto
Y-incision
Ziplock Bag

P.S. You’re welcome!!

Am I Wrong?

I. Of the two sisters, Mary is the YOUNGEST and Anna, the OLDEST.

Of the two sisters, Mary is the YOUNGER and Anna, the ELDER [OLDER].

II. I want to work for someone THAT challenges me.

I want to work for someone WHO challenges me.

III. We’re hiring a new person so everyone has LESS cases.

We’re hiring a new person so everyone has FEWER cases.

IV. She finished it in LIKE, LITERALLY, three hours.

She finished it in three hours.

Conspiracy

Conspire in hushed voices
Make impactful choices

Ooze with honeyed words
No matter who they hurt

Consort in lust and luxury
Extort and commit usury

Flood with blue-hot threats of fire
Those who question; dare inquire

Currency possessed in spades
Yet the Piper’s never paid

From the comfort of their thrones
Gladly saw through skin and bone
Keep tight grips on all they own;
Treasures we will never know

No Great Talent

I may never be a force,
a great talent,
“somewhat” of a talent,
a flare,
or even a flash in the pan.

But at least I’m a spark.

[And we all have to start somewhere]




(Thanks to @wflwong for the photo)

The Freedom of Divorce

My burning “like” [it was never love] for you has frozen over; misery my only companion in the awfulness that Life by Your Side has become.

How and why did we make this colossal mistake?
I don’t think I’ll ever know, and I’m not sure that I want to.

I ONLY know I’m ready to trade:
Your “love” and “partnership” for aloneness.
Certainty for uncertainty.
Shouting for silence.
Constant conflict for calm.
Walking on eggshells for mental relaxation.
Being a disappointment for being enough.
The prison this marriage has always been for the freedom a divorce might provide.

Yes, I will fail after you.
After “us.”
I will fall and fail until I die.

But…
Should I be blessed to have another 20 years,
I won’t be wasting them on you.