CONFESSIONS OF A LEMONADE


CONFESSIONS OF A LEMONADE

I may have a sweet heart, but it’s equally tart.
Lemonade-making is often An Art.
I can be sweet one minute and sucker-pucker you the next.
Sometimes it’s impossible to distinguish my Sweet from my Tart.
I know FOR A FACT You can’t tell The Two apart.
Sometimes I switch up the ratios to keep things sharp.
The fact I’m even AWARE I’m Tart proves I’m working on my own taste.
Sometimes I’m so sweet, I spit myself back out.

But the Biggest Confession of all?
I’ve been making Myself out of Lemons so long,
I need to taste VERY SOUR for a while;
Maybe an Hour?
I’d hate to be accused of being “Dour” by mistake, so
Whatever’s Tart for You,
Is Sweet enough for Me.


REGARDING HUMOR


REGARDING HUMOR

If You’re Sanguine, you’re good at it; you improvise and socialize.

If You’re Choleric, you’re okay: you’re simply getting childhood trauma off your chest. Since your barbs are so sharp, don’t overdo the snark.

If You’re Phlegmatic, you’re Where Boring starts and Insipid ends, but you’re a most agreeable audience. You perform Excellent Impersonations of Yourself.

If You’re Melancholic, you suck at it; you’re dour and dire and your delivery is catatonically dry.

As for me, I’ve never been a 25% Chance of Anything!

OLD BUT SMOKING HOT

OLD BUT SMOKING HOT

I may be old,
Or so I’m frequently told,
Yet I Remain:

Young at heart,
Equally smart,
And the very sight of me
Is easy on the eyes.


It’s true I’m still a slow-poke,
But I only blow my Own Smoke
When my ambient “Smoking Heat”
Chokes and Overwhelms Me.

Regarding Popularity

Believe it or not, this isn’t snarky. Rather, it’s an efficient restatement of the following cliches:

1. Only the strong [don’t necessarily] survive,
2. Absolute power corrupts
3. Absolute money corrupts
4. Absolute Agreement corrupts,
5. I never promised you I was a “Rose Garden”, and
6. Who the hell cares, anyway?

EMPTY JESTERS, EMPTY GESTURES

AN EMPTY JESTER
FULL OF EMPTY GESTURES

I’m very verbally quick, but I’m even more mentally quick.

Sadly, most of my Genius is often
Lost in translation.

PS. Sometimes I write things which seem so “already obvious,” I’m sure they must be bad Dad Jokes as old as Methuselah.

You’ll have to trust me when I say they jest occurred to me today.

HIDDEN MOTIVES

HIDDEN MOTIVES

I think the fact
You know my name
Shows your plays
To run The Game.

Surely numbers, too,
Are known by You
And then withheld
And Undisclosed:
This controls
The Info Flow.

How do I know These Things?
I do not know.
I just know
There’s NOTHING
I don’t know
When it comes
To what I know
About Motives:
1. Declared,
2. Unspoken, and
3. Unknown.

[Its ESP, or so I’m told].

Lying About My Age, “Mature”

LYING ABOUT MY AGE, “MATURE”

I don’t mind if you call me “sexually mature,”

But don’t you DARE call me mentally or emotionally mature!

I’ll have you know I am immature, shallow, and narcissistic.

You can’t believe a WORD I say, whether in agreement or to the contrary!

Be deceived, but DON’T take me for my word.

NETFLIX & CHILL

NETFLIX & CHILL

You’ll get carved up and
burnt to cinder at
the hellish meat market
known as Tinder.

OK Cupid’s pretty stupid,

But you can always give a jingle
Over on Christian Mingle.

I’m told Bumble keeps one humble.

The freshest catch is pretty stale
At Plenty of Fish,
but You can sail for free
should other efforts fail.

If you still can’t find Her,
I’d suggest you try Grinder.

That’s the best advice that I can grant
When cyber-searching for your better half.

This poem’s inspiration
Is my OWN degradation
And pathological hating
Of internet dating!

Women & Hair

WOMEN & HAIR

Why are women obsessed with hair?
Why is this expense always spared
From budget cuts and resource cuts
Yet hair the only thing we cut?
Or wax away from ourselves?

The only thing there’s not enough of
Is the Hair upon Our Heads.
The only hair there’s way too much of
Is Any Hair Somewhere Else.

What Can I Say that Hasn’t Been Thought?

DIRTY SCUMBAG; FILTHY SCOUNDREL!

I’m feeling skewed and most off-kilter,
Last Night I somehow lost My Filter.
Details Remain a Mystery
But I don’t give a SHIT You See!
Now Thoughts are all I EVER Say,
I never Knew I Thought this way
Until I Hear the Words I say.
They go from brain-to-Cyberpage
At a Most Alarming Rate.
Dirty Thinks Like Dirty Says,
And I’m as Dirty as it Gets.
A Dirtier Face Does Not Exist,
Nor a Dirtier Place to Put One in.
A dubious honor better Dirty,
Disgustingly Filthy, Exceptionally Dirty,
I think I like this Brand New View
Free of Scum but Dirty, Too.

Bopping and Blogging Time After Time

HEY NOW❗️

WHAT’S GOING ON
I agree that most
GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN.

Maybe One Girl doesn’t, but
SHE’S SO UNUSUAL and
SHE BOPS all day.
Which I can only aspire to!

And let’s not forget that
I have a ONE TRACK MIND❗️
So I’ll probably be Bopping Myself soon, too.

Or at least I hope so.
THAT’S WHAT I THINK anyway.

So, I’m hoping you’ll have a
CHANGE OF HEART.

If you recall,
The last time we were “Together”,
I DROVE ALL NIGHT,
ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT

To get to You,
Many times and
On Multiple occasions.

Regardless of what happens,
I’M GONNA BE STRONG.

However, I’m currently experiencing A Popularity Bonanza,
Which doesn’t change the fact that:
MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING.

Just as I’ve predicted
TIME AFTER TIME.

Money adds fuel to latent behaviors,
Releasing TRUE COLORS info the Atmosphere
On a daily basis.

THAT’S WHAT I THINK
All over again.

At least according to
My Own Opinion, So Unusual.

THOUGHT BUBBLES… All The Way Up

Inspiration seems to be the Inspiration today❣️

THOUGHT BUBBLES…ALL THE WAY UP:
“Inner Effervesce”

Can’t build Art from Artifice:
The only schools for birthing fish
Are Seas of Vulnerability.
In depths You’ll find the Muse You Hide.
Stimulates Your Softer Side,
Releasing Secrets Trapped Inside.
Unleashed freedom gives Free Reign,
Bouncing UnBoxed Jack Away,
Loosing Inner Effervescence;
Bubbled Thoughts have Much To Say!

I’m NOT a trust fund, Babe!

I’m no trust fun babe;
I’ll have to trust,
Trust at least,
Or at least enough,
To trust the reason
You’re with Me
Isn’t because you believe
I’m a tree in full spring leaf
Growing stores of EverMoney.
Didn’t Mama tell You, Honey?
You don’t wanna Gal who’s Made of Money!
They fend and cope like No One Else.
And even just the Rich at Heart
ALWAYS set themselves Apart
By the Way They Love Themselves❣️
So I must trust for US “What’s Best?”
Is: Grow your Money for Yourself!