Why I like My Snapchat Videos: They Showcase a Lifetime of Experience
According to my acquired belief system, these videos possess many virtues and capitalize on a Lifetime’s Wealth of Experience.
Their virtue begins prior to my birth with The Invention of The Photograph and the Resultant Cliché that “A picture speaks a thousand words.”
They’re able to make beauty from the ashes of my many Wasted Years as a Wife AND in Chemistry and Algebra to Fail to Recognize a formula for success, even if it equates!
Regardless of my track record, I feel in my gut these videos marry the Dramatic Flair I FIRST began at the onset of puberty with my Ability to Phrase My Words Poetically…
Honed during my years as a writer to Think Poetically In The First Place!
The end result should be POTENT DRAMA, wryly age-fermented into one self-effacing, surprisingly-impactful, socially-irresponsible yet hopefully still-entertaining multimedia of a cyberbyte.
When that inevitably fails like all my prior marriages, I find myself paying a premium to My IPhone Memory Plan and resorting to my inherent Gift of Gab, videotaping 100% of Everything I blab about for hours. I then rely on my Natural Aesthetic to Recognize The 1% that’s salvageable and ultimately return to my aptly-titled B.S. degree in Radio-TV-Film to Edit The Useless Footage Down, hopefully quasi-coherently.
Of course, I never forget to swing by my long-term, prestigious highschool-memory banks to Cleverly Spin and Repackage this mere fraction of useless chatter about Everything into “Much Ado About Nothing.”
I hope you find them entertaining, too. Frankly, they’re easier to make than the poems, and I’d appreciate the harmless self-promotion.
Shadows Boomerang in the heavily-shaded absorbed silence of unglamorous Self-Reflection while simultaneously bouncing in shades of The High Echo of a reverberated-while simultaneously-shining dulcet patina of an authentic “BON VOYAGE! I can’t WAIT to see you again!”
I’ve been mad at him ever since I learned from both
A) The Groomer and B) My Mother (Basically, the only two people he’s EVER around other than ME)
That the whining pathetic noise he ALWAYS makes to communicate with me (the only sound he’s EVER used) he also ONLY uses only WITH me and ON me.
I’m not even upset with him for blatantly attempting to manipulate me. Good for him for trying! Nice try, buddy.
What I’m mad about is that He’s NEVER ONCE tried to reason with me logically, illogically ASSUMING that the only appeal capable of REACHING ME would have to be (and apparently CONTINUES TO BE) an emotionally-cloying, not to mention noisily-annoying, solely-heartstrung and overly-sentimental one.
I have to blow through A lot of fuses, and Refuse a lot, too, Burning through Lots of refuse, Blowing, burning, And refusing through That, too, Then re-selecting, reworking, And re-tooling Even previously-refused Piled-high refuse, Re-tooling THAT and Refusing It YET again, Hoping to eventually End up with Any Old Garbage I can first refuse Then, ultimately, If I’m very lucky, Dumpster Dive And pick over A whole landfill of Scraps Spaghetti Confetti To discover a tiny little bit Of infinitesimal filthy dirt, Soiled then Re-Spoiled Enough to actually Be of Any Use.
It’s either that or throw it on The Giant Heap of Rotting Trash And let it decompost naturally.
Those who are Composed Of 100% Criticism And 0% Creation Result in an unfortunate, Unimaginative Equation And useless, tasteless formulation Whose “feedback” requires a Considerable Imagination To follow, concoct, Or barely swallow.
I thought jokes were only ever Thought, Written, Told, or Spoken By an Individual-Sized Person, One accountable for its own voice.
However, Politicians have taught us We don’t have to Make A Choice! All of these things can occur in unison, As well as simultaneously, More “cacophonous” than “sonorous” or “harmonious”, If You ask Me, or According to the Notes I read. I don’t know, YOU tell ME: Do they also sound Too Stale to Sail From YOUR Slide on This Slippery Scale?