Too Light?

I cried and felt so terrible inside for so long.

One day, I finally stopped the [inner] crying. Now, I know what my brief bouts of tears are about.

My heaviness isn’t as heavy, but life seems to have turned into a giant Cosmic Joke that nobody else is in on. In fact, I’m starting to feel so light, I worry I could become untethered, like an accidentally-released helium balloon.

I’m not sure if this is a joy explosion or incipient madness.

Come Inside


I want you to knock on my private door.

When I answer, I want you to come inside.

Let me welcome you into my body, my life.

I want you to invite me for dinner.

I want you to eat me alive.

I want you to kiss me and give me a delicious surprise.

I want to embrace all of you.

I want to give you all I have to give.

I want your heart to meet mine in the place that it lives.

2011, REPOST

To My 19 Followers:

Thank you for listening to the conversations I’ve suppressed since Always (if not Before).

“Speaking” them here is the most lightening and emotionally levitating exercise I’ve ever experienced.

Each conversation I suppress has a funny way of refusing to be silenced. At least on the inside. However, when I convert these esoteric thought vapors into fully carved words brimming with consonants and vowels, something truly magical and miraculous happens to me.

It doesn’t even matter if anyone reads what I have to say. What’s important is that I’ve finally said it. And what’s so beautiful about it all is these whispers I never really heard but felt suddenly stop feeling so painful. And guttural. And harsh.

In fact, something dislodges a little bit as these words start being forced to enter my Prefrontal Cortex [GPS coordinates unknown; excuse my lapse in exactitude.]

I just needed to get this down. Once I’ve explored whatever it is I need to address – using different characters and scenarios along the way – the insights solidify and then Oilá! They blaze, clear, continue to percolate, morph and glom onto other insights, potentially resulting in complete shift in my worldview (at the moment, anyway). Sometimes it takes awhile to reach every cell in my body.

But once truth reaches every cell in my body, my body starts to heal itself. On the inside, outside, and in the invisible parts. This feels like all kinds of things, sometimes all at once. It can be a supreme peace in my spiritual core or a firework display of emotion. It can mine the detritus of my past and return to me with scaled and hidden gems that merely require a little rock tumbling in order to sparkle.

Wearing my new jewelry and exorcising those suppressed words feels like the emotional equivalent of wearing my softest pair of pajamas all day.

It’s a lightness I haven’t felt in so long, I almost don’t recognize it anymore. Bottom line: my headspace is turning into a much nicer neighborhood!

Of course, I knew all of the truth and some of the answers all along. I just didn’t know that I knew it, and I didn’t know what I didn’t know (a la “Jocari’s Window” for my philosophers).

So thank you from the deepest place in my bloody heart. Again and Again. Simply for being here. 🌹🍎🩸❤️

P.S. The photo is in merciless hi-def, but you guys deserve the “good stuff” from my Hidden Archives❣️

C’mon Y’all Let’s Exorcise!

C’mon Y’all, Let’s Exercise!
Let’s Exorcise that Voice that’s in our Minds
That Voice that Loops all through our Heads
That scolds our every move and says:
You’re not enough: You Should be Dead
Well, I say: You must go Instead
I’ve sold for cheap Your words of Dread
Now Get the Hell out of my Head!!


Don’t come back and bring your friends!
Your time with Me is at an End
I’m so sick of the Words You Say
The Words that never let me Play
I’ve told you you must pack your Bags
You’ve turned into a TOTAL DRAG
I want you out; I want to Sing
I want to be Authentic Me
All I’m Asking’s to be Free
To not Feel Shame or Misery
And Show the Truest Part of Me

C’mon Y’all, Let’s Exercise!
Let’s Exorcise that Voice that’s in our Minds
That Voice that Loops all through our Heads
That scolds our every move and says:
You’re not enough: You Should be Dead
Well, I say: You must go Instead
I’ve sold for cheap Your words of Dread

Now Get the Hell out of my Head!!

We’re really done; I swear it’s true
Those words so often said by you
No longer welcome Here are They
So find another place to Stay
I hate your voice and all it wants
Go find another soul to haunt!
I want you out; I want to Sing
I want to be Authentic Me
All I’m Asking’s to be Free

To not Feel Shame or Misery
And Show the Truest Part of Me

C’mon Y’all, Let’s Exercise!
Let’s Exorcise that Voice that’s in our Minds
That Voice that Loops all through our Heads
That scolds our every move and says:
You’re not enough: You Should be Dead
Well, I say: You must go Instead
I’ve sold for cheap Your words of Dread

Now Get the Hell out of my Head!!

[Karaoke] Konnects Me to My ❤️‍🔥 (updated links)

My YouTube channel, Karaoke Konnection:

https://youtube.com/user/AgainsttheGrain1000

1. I Will Survive; (Like a…Cockroach)

https://youtu.be/XBGNNsk3nyA

2. I’ve Never Met Another Living Soul (other than myself) Who Possesses Such an ARSENAL of Gestures, Facial Expressions, and Whole-Body Movement to Communicate Both Inspiration and Seriousness (examples of the latter to follow, including The Partial Telling of My Story, below)

https://youtu.be/VYzJYEUhju8


3. The Two-Fisted Microphone Dance That’s Currently Sweeping the Country
(I either spared you an earache or deprived you of a belly laugh when I edited out 85% of the song).

https://youtube.com/shorts/bHYENlt_E44?feature=share


4. They’re All Dirty

https://youtu.be/ybsvkMkVaUw


5. Having a bit of a Diva moment, I confess… fortunately it passes quickly.

https://youtube.com/shorts/0HCbq6nWRI4?feature=share

6. Not Karaoke, but another video: The Partial Telling of My Story:

https://youtu.be/2zUHBaxT8f0

The Language of Love

Oh to be known 
And yet loved for my flaws,
Fills me with hope and
Gives me great pause:
To think that these gifts
Come without any "ifs"
Makes your words stick,
Building trust brick by brick,
And truth day by day,
All the while the words you say
Become more real and more sincere
Arousing my trust and ousting my fear.
Creating a fanciful flight of feelings I’ve yet to know,
Could they, just this once, be my very own?
I don't have the words to describe all this new
Emotion and Growth and Questions without clues.
I only know this mystery transcends my go-to speech,
Its translation a language grasped only by us each.
And when I speak in silence, your interpretation is perfect.
But the greatest gift: you find me worthy to protect.
I feel wholly safe in your arms,
Free from danger and free from harm.

In you I’ve found treasure.
And exceptional pleasure.
All beyond measure.
2017