Vehicular Breakdowns

Vehicular Breakdowns

Why did you Niss-me-an?
I hate it when you Chevrolet!
And to borrow my Lincoln without Towning my Car?
I Honda consider it a Hyundai move.
It’s my right and my Volvo, and
I’ve never disclosed to ANYONE other than you
That the Ford Taurus and the Mercury Sable were essentially the same vehicle!
And damn! I still can’t believe you Datsun’ed me into a Peugeot!
Especially when I couldn’t even afFord a Suzuki with my Infiniti budget!
Thanks a MILLION for the Burn-Me-Into Ford Pinto,
You Jag-ass!
I’m 100% serious:

If you Jeep it up,
I’ll Isuzu!
That’s a Pontiac
Combined with a Prizm
AS WELL AS a threat!

The difference between narcissism and empathy


The difference between narcissism and empathy

The narcissist harbors antipathy and refuses to Allow others in line during traffic, rationalizing “if I’ve waited this long, then you’ll wait this long, too.”

An empath, relating to being in the same situation themselves, let’s see you in graciously.

I take both Paths equally. It depends how late I am.

POETRY BY AGE ISN’T POETRY BY NUMBERS


POETRY BY AGE ISN’T POETRY BY NUMBERS

I decided what separates
The poems of the Young
From the poems of the Old
Isn’t the song sung nor story told;
Rather it’s down to The Style
Which captures a Frown or a Smile.

Do You prefer to mentally copulate
With the first prick of fresh heartache,
Or do you prefer the dejection,
Pain and unspared despair
Of often brutally-inflicted
Repeat Rejection?

It’s simply a matter of taste.
A Choice doesn’t have to be made.
We can Break your heart Either Way.

The Ocean’s Motion 🌶

Regarding The “Economy Package”

I’m looking for a scientist
who’s mad enough
to clearly grasp this
crazed and crazy concept:

The tiniest of a SKILLFUL micro-stimuli,
With a little effort can provoke
A most magnificent physical response
(I’ve learned this more than once),
As well as ALL shades of
Macro-Sexual Reply
Which Profoundly (and to be honest),
Very-Physically still
Stimulate, Alliterate, add Satisfy,
While even juggling the time
To Speak in Rhyme
(Let’s call it “The Special Trick
That Works Every Time”).

THE SONG OF POLITICS IN THE AIR

THE SONG OF POLITICS IN THE AIR

I thought jokes were only ever
Thought, Written, Told, or Spoken
By an Individual-Sized Person,
One accountable for its own voice.

However, Politicians have taught us
We don’t have to Make A Choice!
All of these things can occur in unison,
As well as simultaneously,
More “cacophonous” than “sonorous” or “harmonious”,
If You ask Me, or
According to the Notes I read.
I don’t know,
YOU tell ME:
Do they also sound
Too Stale to Sail
From YOUR Slide on
This Slippery Scale?

Or Perhaps the Work of Stephen King?

Or Perhaps the Work of Stephen King?

This is what happens when you
“Do Poems All Day;”
You come up with Snappy Titles
Which say Your Poem in a different way,
Often removing its jumpy taste
And baking a Better Poem in the end.
THEN, The Poem Mix upon which I depend
Ends up Baking a Better Poem in the end,
And once a Better Poem Mix is found,
And A Better Poem is made,
THIS will be The New Poem Mix
I will choice to bake.

The Modern-Day Poet

Most certainly not doing It in the car!

THE MODERN-DAY POET

She must talk to herself
ALL of the time,
And by her Own iPhone,
She must have been driven blind.

She ALLSO must ALLWAYS speak in Rhyme
(I know, I can’t stomach it Myself most of the time),
And A More Creative Method of Spelling
NO one should Never happen upon and find.

If that’s all set up,
Then “The Words Said By She”
Can NOW, Automatically,
Travel nonstop and
Highly-Targeted-Directly
From Word-to-Text
And Bot-to-Blog,
Then Blog-to-‘Gram
And back again,
To once again
Wordplay with Those
Who Jest The Best❣️

And please don’t breathe a
Word of This to Anyone,
But she could do “It Driving”

If IT wasn’t so dangerous!

Enneagram Types: Defined by an Idiote

ENNEAGRAM TYPES

1s
Have their Feet planted on the ground and their Finger pointed in your face.

2s:
Where do YOU want to live? I’m a great roommate: “Mi casa Su casa” any day, but I won’t give you “Alone Time” at Either Place.

3s
Are accomplished and successful, or at least they’ll go to great subconscious lengths to make you think so.

4s
Are simply The Most Compassionate Understanding People you never want to cross. The Sole Digit on Two Hands as comfortable shedding tears as pealing laughs.

5s
Obsess with “just the facts, ma’am” and may seem a Bit Distant and a Bite Adjacent; in other words, they can be quirkily contrary.

6s
Are terrified of potential scenarios, but spend much inner dialogue identifying and executing Countermeasures to prevent them in the first place. They always show up, but have the good sense to head home if it rains.

7s
Constantly distract themselves with future dreams, especially those involving fun. Advisory: All Fantasy Must be Imagined at the 7’s leisure.

8s
If they were Bulls, would be taunting Matadors one minute and breaking China in China Shops the next.

9s
Go along to get along.
They’re invited along because They’re easy to have along,
They don’t yell for long,
And they agree with Everyone
And Almost Everything
Along the way.

I Know MY Number; Does Your Number know You?

Do you have the FOUR-sight to predict Mine?

https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/dotest

Three-4-One

Dear Businesses I have Patronized Regularly:

If I hear Another Person Yelling me
They’re “Bringing me Something-for-Free,”
While charging a Monthly Subscription Fee,
And subjecting me to
[Frequent], [[Repeated]]
!Constant Endorsements!,
I shall SCREAM
And Promise To Flee;
Conduct My Business
Somewhere Else.

MY ONLY THREAT?
Bare Finania££y.
MY IMPACT? Nano-Minu$-0ne.
But Most Mucho-Micros I Know In Person,
At least on The Individual’s Basis,
Are the Kind of Folks who are SO MUCHO,
They Mucho ALL Their Micro Group-Impact into A MACROECONOMIC One;
So Please Remember and Forget Me Not.

Signed,
A Merry Band of Nobody
Who won’t Remind You of Her Age,
Just her Loyal Patronage.


Singing out of Toon

PLEAS EXCUSE MY QUESTIONABLE GIFT OF SPEAKING IN CARTOON

I’d love to munch on a bunch of Bug’s Buddies,
But I shy away from getting too wily with Coyote,
Especially since HIS idol is Casper the ghost.

I’d like to fly high with Superman,
But I’m too busy being a Wondrous Woman.
Come closer, but don’t leave your Delusions behind.
Can you keep a secret?

Here it is, and it’s coming from
A Sponge sitting Squarely in his Pants:
I can Scooby Doo!
Can You?
I can even Scrappy and Shaggy, too
!

Those “Blasted Kids”
Have always been
My favorite ‘Toon to Do.

Exchanging Letters

Yes I know A, B, and C,
But with a little L, S, and D,
As well as pride in Patrimony,
We could Imagine Things Differently
By changing the colors and shapes

Of U, S, and A.

Yes I know A, B, and C,
But with a little L, S, and D,
As well as Pride in Patrimony,
We could Imagine Things Differently,
By changing the colors and shapes
Of U, S, and A.

REGARDING HUMOR


REGARDING HUMOR

If You’re Sanguine, you’re good at it; you improvise and socialize.

If You’re Choleric, you’re okay: you’re simply getting childhood trauma off your chest. Since your barbs are so sharp, don’t overdo the snark.

If You’re Phlegmatic, you’re Where Boring starts and Insipid ends, but you’re a most agreeable audience. You perform Excellent Impersonations of Yourself.

If You’re Melancholic, you suck at it; you’re dour and dire and your delivery is catatonically dry.

As for me, I’ve never been a 25% Chance of Anything!

OLD BUT SMOKING HOT

OLD BUT SMOKING HOT

I may be old,
Or so I’m frequently told,
Yet I Remain:

Young at heart,
Equally smart,
And the very sight of me
Is easy on the eyes.


It’s true I’m still a slow-poke,
But I only blow my Own Smoke
When my ambient “Smoking Heat”
Chokes and Overwhelms Me.

The Final Word on Kaiser, or So I Zê

What a waste of talent!

THE FINAL WORD ON KAISER’S PEDOPHELIA, OR SO I ZÊ

Kaiser Sozê gets away
With too many Crimes
WAY too many times,
Recrafting them as ‘Illusion’,
And Convincing HIMSELF
Of his Own Delusion.

The Terrible Reign of Kaiser Sozé
Was the most Authentic Role
Kevin Spacey ever played.
The only smile to Grace his Face
Is Placed There, or so he claims,
By his ‘Method Acting Game,’
But I think it’s his
Only Way To inexcusably
Distract and Dissuade.

According his victims,
His motives have ALWAYS been
Highly and Unusually Suspect.

The Good News,
My Dearest Friends,
Is WE All Know it’s
Truth Who Triumphs in The End.

A Dinosaur Among Us

Thanks to barneydew.com for the photo

TALES OF A DINOSAUR

Who the hell do I think I am?
No one cares what I say on Instagram,
Facebook is too fake to face,
And they treat me like a
Stupid boob on YouTube.

I honestly think it comes down to Matters Of Age,
And what Matters most these days
Is a youthful, pretty face.

The former offends me,
The latter flatters me.
I guess 50% of Both
Is Good Enough for me.