HOW I WISH HE WAS A FISH!

Hello! It’s your favorite Indecently Clothed Adult Bird, walking down Poppy Street before heading left onto Sesame.

I dislike my furry neighbors very much, but I have to talk to every one on this godforsaken sesame-seedy street.

Why? I’m searching to and fro, here and there, backwards and forwards. “Doing what?“ you ask.

Well, I’m highly irritated, but I’m

Searching for Emo. AGAIN. Interrogating every single creature, puppet, and muppet I’ve known for decades.

Personally, I DESPISE that brat Emo, but I’d tell your face to “Quit It!” before I’D EVER admit it!

I’m even talking to that Snot-nosed Snufflemonster (who’s always been a personal favorite) and grooving and gabbing with Grover, the 2-Leaf-Clover – as in MISSING 2 LEAVES – that furry, relatable, “within arm’s reach” creatch everyone has always RELATED TO so much. He’s overrated because as an actor, he sucks. He emotes like a spoke and speaks like a flea.

And to be fair, and I squarely swear I’m fair, I AM The Show’s PRIMARY CHARACTER, after all, and have been adored for SCORES. But I never get ANY respect!! Of course not! It’s the Diaper. I’ve discussed it with producers but the discussions are fruitless because…

We keep argumental scores. FOUR scores and 7 years to be exact and precise, though not necessarily concise.

Can’t you see The Problems on the Street? This happens with the sesame seeds, nut jobs, and other entities I’ve had to mix with Enmity in this closed, claustrophobically-close proximity. It’s lasted an Eternity; I know that you don’t pity me, but could you at least pretty me or do frigging ANYTHING to Getty ME out of HERE?

I guess it’s ok if you can’t; at least Emo has FINALLY JUST been found, so we can call off the hounds, then look down upon the ground.

At least that’s where that Wretched dirty Monster’s cookie crumbs are always found.