YouTrue Crime Poetry, Exhibit 41

Guilty of showing off my quick digestion skills again…

A CAUTIONARY TALE: DON’T MARRY ASSHOLES IN DISGUISE

(They have some convincing costumes,
so please don’t start “Poet-Blaming”
for “Victim-Shaming”;
I wrote a poem to honor her,
Which honors more than empty words)

I’m so sorry The Freshest Rosie
Was Bound and Married into a useless posey,
But because she poked so slowly,
She identified her murderer,
And indexed Death’s
Most Pointed Finger
At Her useless excuse of
A lame-ass husband;
He poisoned her with cyanide
And never cared about
The Cars Nearby,
Driving on Ways both
Motored and High.

He might’ve been a Husband, true,
But in my always-humble opinion,
Yazeed’s Phylum is more
Rat than Human.
This isn’t fact nor scarcely truth,
Though I’ll be glad to school
Anyone with less than
Half a clue.
My lessons are so free,
You’ll think they’re a
Dream-come-true.
In fact versus fiction
(Yes, I’m aware of the
Inherent contradiction),
I can only offer a special
Priced at so low a Price
And at CooCoo Crazy Costs
Because I actually talk This Way.
Oh, how it drives me so insane!
But what can I do?
And what can I say?
It Always comes out Rhyming
Any and Either way,
Every nano-momentary passing
Of Every Single Day.

Which Antidote might you advise
To under-dose Demise-by-Rhyme?

True Crime All the Time❣️

We can talk about the
Virtues of True Crime
Another Time;
But if you like it delivered cleverly
And fairly poetically,
And if #youtoo are a fan of puns,
I’ve got a book review
For True Crime Viewers
Just like you!

“That Chapter” is THE chapter;
The Must-Compelling Read
Which compels you Must Watch!

P.S. I’M not so full of MYSELF as to think
I’M boosting HIS fame,
But neither am I casting shade
To verbally appreciate,
Both announce and proclaim,
To ALL that I like the way
That This ‘That Chapter’ guy
(He’s Irish and his name is Mike)
Scripts and narrates
His stories told and words said,
Which, while clever,
Still respect the dead
And honor victims
Tastefully and word-deliciously.
[There you go; it’s oversaid].

SO INCULPATORY (and Histrionic)

[Or so she says]
[Hey, a Warm “ShroomFest” sounds fun!]
[Right]
[I’m still getting all these #snarky thoughts!]

SO INCULPATORY!

I said those things as Allegories.
Perhaps they were Inflammatory and Derogatory,
And even perCHANCE Defamatory?

But I serve as Official Depository
For YOUR words so Condemnatory.
It’s true I HEARD them as “Accusatory”.

HOWEVER,
From my Highly Hallucinogenically
SELF-Aware Perspective:

I find MYSELF Inculpatory
For Hiding Lies Exculpatory;
Fake-Acting, Yes, but Not Recriminatory.

So I am Seeking Damages
In Every Shape-Type-Variety.
My favorite Type’s Compensatory.

But that’s a WHOLE ‘Nother Story!
I Chose the Title for MYSELF:
SELF-Congratulatory”

GENERATIONAL FATIGUE

FROM YOUTUBE OF COURSE

They were all making snarky comments over there calling Amber’s lawyer a “Karen,” so I was forceed to jump in:

Could someone please explain the official criteria for being a “Karen?” No one has ever been able to, and unfortunately I have aged into what might be considered official “Karen Territory.” Fortunately, it DOES beat the alternative.

Bonus points if you can name all the generation names because I haven’t got a clue! I thought Millennials were anyone born after the Millennium (aka “teenagers”), so somebody please school me on this topic.

I’d hate to be a Karen without knowing it.

WHY I AM NOT A MURDERER


After watching a true crime video (YouTube know where) about Murder-For-Hire as an Industry, I have some newly-acquired information to share.

The main Victims are The Spouse and The Top Motives are:

1) Life Insurance Policy and
2) He doesn’t want to be with Her anymore [for whatever reason].

I used to actually think about Getting Married Again, even up until a maybe a year ago. Don’t tell anybody because I don’t anymore.

However, if someone SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET, I would insist on the getting the following Pre-Nuptial Agreement SIGNED & NOTARIZED FIRST:

1. NEVER take out a life insurance policy on Me. EVER. I have contracted with the following Reporting Agency which will alert me if a life insurance policy is ever taken out in my name, and
2. Have the guts to tell me you want to kill me rather than actually kill me. Please. I will promise the same in return.

Do keep in mind, Murder-for-Hire levels the playing field and there are some angry females out here. TRUST me.

Most of us, according to the video, don’t act on it. The ones who get “stung” trying to order a hit from an undercover cop are positively CHILLING.

The main reason Murdering Someone isn’t an option for me? There was a term We used to get pretty riled up about Last Millennium called “Mutually Assured Destruction.” I think it describes what happens to both the Murder Victim, the MurderER, and Both Parties’ respective “Loved Ones” (even though I don’t currently have any right now).

I’d ask you if you’ve heard of MAD, but I’m pretty sure the term was disarmed from our Collective Lexicon 20-30 years ago.

Why I Keep Doing It

MAKING SNARKY COMMENTS ON YOUTUBE ABOUT THE BIG DEFAMATION TRIAL

The only reason I keep making snarky comments on YouTube is because the case:

KEEPS GIVING ME SNARKY THOUGHTS!!

I didn’t Ask to Think them! I’ve made my Position on Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy perfectly clear.

In fact, if you knew HOW SNARKY these RELENTLESSLY SNARKY thoughts actually are,

You’d admire My Restraint.

NEW “SEGMENT”: IPHONE POSTS FROM OTHER PLACES

I’ll specify if it’s a text message, a YouTube comment, an Instagram Bio idea, a Facebook post [snooze], or the mother lode: a dating app comment made by ME!! Basically ANY comment made by me!

I won’t give any context other than those general categories. I’ll try to ensure my comments are holistic and self-explanatory. I will provide NO IDENTIFYING INFORMATION about ANY private individual, so NO FEARS ANYONE!!

I said: Your FEARS ARE UNFOUNDED!!

Anyway, I’ll use the same photo (for those of you who use photos) each time, and we will COMMENCE TONIGHT!!

TEXT

I don’t think we’re particularly compatible in a variety of ways I don’t intend to describe with my right thumb at the moment.

COURTROOM THEATRICS


As the World tuned in to watch clips of the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard Mutual Defamation trial (Team Johnny here), I’ve noticed some fascinating Courtroom Theatrics in play.

And it’s not just the regular Costume Changes, non-movie Acting, and Oddly-Painted-On Hairstyles.

However, the televising of so much Personal Pain and airing of Dirty Laundry seems like a Giant Spectacle of Uncomfortable Absurdity to me.

“A tale told by Idiots,
Full of Sound and Fury…

[Pomp, Circumstance, Legal Jargon, and Court of Public Opinion]…

Signifying Nothing.”

Maybe why I’ve watched Nothing Else?

#courtroomsaga #shakespeare

Teenagers‼️

Why does my heart bleed for teenagers when I never had any of my own? I try to give them (probably misguided) advice – see my reply to a young girl’s comment. I know: wisdom from the woman known as Karaoke Konnection on YouTube. It’s laughable.

Then, please tell me if it’s misguided. Because I really need to know. It’s profoundly, remarkably, achingly important to me that my words never damage these young people. I want them to excel and to thrive and to keep Humanity alive!

More than anything…

Please Watch if You Love a Teenager

I’m 54, and I feel like you’re telling my story. I know it feels like your father has betrayed all of you (because he did) and everything that once seemed so certain now seems terribly uncertain. And you don’t even get to be mad because you’re being such a little adult, keeping up your end of the deal, while the adults are abandoning their roles as if they never existed in the first place. I’m so sorry that the pressure has fallen on you during this time. My only advice for all of you teenagers who are hurting now is:
Please never bury the real and unique you that burns inside. You know your dreams and your passions and your heart in a way no other person does. Your circumstances will change frequently throughout your life, but your essence, your personhood, won’t. Please don’t EVER bury yourselves so much in your efforts to make others happy that you extinguish the beautiful flame that burns in each one of you❣️

P.S. Tell your parents a lady older than them said so‼️

Jennifer, The Multimedian

My Introductory Post on Instagram:

MY INTENTIONS HERE

I tend to censor myself on Facebook because, in my head, I’m certain “Everyone” thinks I’m having a nervous breakdown when I attempt to express myself creatively. Maybe it’s because my mother and I share 107 Facebook friends? Or because Family Members and many Friends Since 8th Grade are there?
It doesn’t really matter since the problem is my own.

To tackle it, about 3 months ago, I started expressing myself emotionally on a [Wordpress] blog and physically, through Karaoke, on my [YouTube] channel…of 20 wonderful followers❣️

Both have been anonymous enough for me to feel free to put words to (writing)- and then exorcise (publishing)- the vicious lies and hateful slurs I didn’t even realize I was telling myself. Since forever.

I’m incredibly grateful to these social media platforms for helping me to rediscover my voice. By providing me with therapeutic outlets for energy and conversations too long suppressed, they’ve served as my freedom fighters, rescuers, and liberators.

So please, Friends, here on Instagram (where I’m a total newbie): if you know me personally, know my family, or have known me a long time, don’t judge me by the words I write. Sharing openly and honestly is a life-preserving activity for me. If I don’t do it, my body makes cancer. And I really don’t want to die! For the first time in a long time, I want to stick around. I’m having so much fun, and I feel like I have cried enough. I’m getting really tired of these tears, my Friends❣️

Please extend me the benefit of the doubt and don’t make any assumptions from my words. Some of my angriest ones could be directed at a disease or a traumatic experience.

I want and need to be my most authentic self for what’s left of This Journey. Having gotten a taste of it, I want to actually BE Jennifer instead of play her on TV. I just can’t play the “role you never knew I was playing” anymore❣️

#socialmedia #selfexpression #honesty #transparency #authentic #authenticity #facebook #conversation #creativewriting #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #womensupportingwomen #women #mentalhealth #breastcancer #traumahealing #vulnerability

I Owe You an Apology, Jeff

So, I wrote you a few scathing letters last week, but I think I may be the “me” in this “mea culpa.”

See, I’ve been thinking you were The Head Honcho/The Big Cheese/The “Bill Gates” of Google, YouTube, G-mail, and all other Google apps (yes, that’s you Blogger, refusing to talk to WordPress or vice-versa; I don’t know which of you isn’t playing well with the other.)

Anyway, it just occurred to me today that I was SO WRONG! You’re not the G-note who is responsible for my Current Family-Discord: you’re the A-note!

You just sent me that wireless mouse; the one I purchased expressly because 1) it was wireless and 2) it came with its own doogle.

Only it doesn’t come with it’s own doogle, as both box and product listing proclaim. My now-problem with you, Jeff, is that I was so certain you would never betray me beyond your ability to “un-betray” me, I didn’t bother to open the mousebox for 32 days. Even though lately you’ve been charging me $35 for earbuds and mailing me $2.99 ball caps instead. “Accidentally.” You know, Jeff: I simply abhorr conspiracy theories, but a common thread you find in all of them is: “Look at the Money.” I’ll say “COVID-19” and leave it there. Which also makes me think: “BIG PHARMA.” DISNEY, NETFLIX, SONY.

I’M SORRY, I JUST COULDN’T STOP‼️, Besides, I 💯 % subscribe to the theory that Global Pandemics Deserve Global Providers❣️ So don’t get mad at me when I’m still mad at you, okay?

Global companies for a Global pandemic. But like I said: I don’t believe in conspiracy theories.

Especially since I’ve been dealing with excruciatingly painful dental problems all month. Sending my mouth into the hands of no less than 15 different men and women across the entire San Antonio Metropolitan Area. Including once last week as well as yesterday into the more expensive hands of an oral surgeon (ca-ching!); a former navy seal (ca-double-ching!) who volunteers for Dentists for Humanity (I don’t think I meet the requirements) working on Veterans’ Day (triple-caching!) while paying an assistant administer the “full-sedation package” (a non-negotiable).

So: do I have your attention now, Jeff? Am I speaking in dollars you can finally comprehend?

You see: my 30 Day Nightmare of Dental Torture finally ended yesterday morning, beginning a 10-Month Nightmare of Financial Torture; simply to restore me to simple dental health while simultaneously destroying both my mental and financial health.

Honestly: it’s a tradeoff worthy of serious contemplation. What finally convinced me to Go Large was The Vanity Involved. I can’t imagine living, loving, and being fully human without my trademark winning smile. No, Jeff, not even a man of your Means, Jeans, Teams, Queens, whose Living the Dream can steal that from me! (Kinda “rapt” towards the end there).

The ribbon-cutting procedure to This New Adventure, and hopefully the closing ceremony on The Worst of the Pain was a very expensive, highly unplanned, surgically oral extraction of tooth #19, along with the insertion of a “bone graft” at 10:00am yesterday morning. Thursday.

Veteran’s Day. RIP, #19. Until we get the fake one, it was a pleasure living with you for the first 52 years. I can’t say the same for the last 2.

I guess, Jeff, both my hopes and my fears were realized yesterday. My hopes because I felt “better-enough” to to do some blogging on my old blog, Blogger; which required me to grasp for the Chrome-cast I bought to satisfy Whoever Owns Google, so that I can maintain my YouTube channel with an iota of professionalism).

That Chromecast has a terrible keyboard, Jeff; a fact I never learned from poring over [YOUR] site reviews for tens of hours before I spent hundreds of dollars on the many electronic devices you sold me last month so that I could create content on the apps you gave me for free. Years and years of content ago. But again: I don’t believe in price-fixing or other conspiracy theories.

Sadly, I’ve been in too much dental pain to use these electronic devices very much. Which is why I didn’t get around to opening the wireless mouse until yesterday, after your return window had closed. I wasn’t worried: it’s not like you were Steve Jobs or Jeff Bezos or anything!!

Anyway, after trying to type on the Chromecast “touch-ignore” for 60 seconds, I reached for the mouse.

Only to find my mouse’s doogle had been removed.

If I had wanted a female mouse, Jeff, don’t you think I would have ordered one? If I had a mouse with a doogle, I wouldn’t have purchased the specific make, model, and package I researched with a ruthlessness I’m quite sure would have impressed you

My point here, Jeff, is this: I felt sorry for about 10 seconds since I [technically] “incorrectly” vented about you on my little blog of self-expression, confusing you with the Owner of the G-Men.

But then you went and pissed me off after an expensive, painful dental procedure, and that just wasn’t smart. Especially since I can get so obsessive about the goods and services I tend to stockpile from you. I have been known to seek greener pastures, and combined with my laziness in general, makes me very profitable to you. I suggest you you remember that.

Why I Don’t Feel Guilty for Watching True Crime stories

I used to feel guilty about watching true crime stories on TV or listening to true crime podcasts. I think it came down to the idea I was receiving recreational entertainment from the suffering of others.

Then I had an epiphany that upended my views on the topic, and it’s this:

In society we honor the bravery of our survivors, but we do very little to honor the suffering of those who perished.

By the time we read the salacious headlines or hear the horrific details of a mass shooting, child abduction, or [violent, sadistic, evil; all redundant terms] murder, someone has already endured an agonizing death. Alone and Afraid.

I know it sounds weird but I honestly think it honors the victims’ memories when other people listen to how they suffered and feel an infinitesimal amount of their pain.

It’s the closest thing we can do now to holding their hands as they died then. It’s not a religious thing, it’s a “compassion for the victims and their families” thing.

So I never feel guilty for watching true crime shows: it helps me do my humanitarian duty to the souls who were forced to depart early.

#RIP, Heaven’s Favorites.

Maybe I’m not going crazy after all

In spite of the fact I owe Spotify an apology and in fact am not the devil, I have been contemplating all things insanity and the ways it might manifest in later life. I started searching for an overview of the early warning signs over on YouTube (where I have been getting in fights lately!! Even instigating them!!)

Anyway, since I have A.D.D., I had to stop to get in a few good fights over on the true crime channels. Side note: I usually am the most vociferous judge of the “evil psychopaths” and poor innocent victims in every story. Wouldn’t they just love to know that the snarky bitch who calls herself “Karaoke Konnection” blabs about her own inner evil over in WordPressLand!!??

So again, I got sidetracked. Side note number two: why do I always get sidetracked?

Anyhoo, up pops my feed after my “cyber-altercations.” And I feel the Universe must be trying to get me away from all that Cosmic Aggression. Side note number three: it can get really toxic over there, people! You wouldn’t believe the bitchy people who will pick fights with you! But y’all would have been proud of me: I started protecting myself by refusing to allow anyone to ever draw first blood again. So I’m finally sticking up for myself against those cyber-bullies!

Where was I? Oh yes!! So like I felt The Man or The Force pull me out of that pit of vipers and return me to The Light.

By bringing my vision-distorted eyes to the videos about inner healing and, when I really need an ego boost, the Myers-Briggs and Personality Type videos. And the reason they’re all so personally gratifying is no matter when I take them, I always come out as THE COOLEST TYPE! It doesn’t matter which test it is, it literally is a Test I Cannot Fail, so strong is my charisma!

Yes, it can be a burden having to be so exceptionally charming all the time, but I’ve learned to live with it. As all good ENFP-T, Enneagram 4-3s must!

What can I say that isn’t said below? We are the unicorns of which I write and it’s our planet the rest of you inhabit! We just let you lease our space.

By the way, if y’all get directed over to YouTubeVille, tell ‘em Karaoke Konnection sent you. My people will keep an eye out for you.

My “Chiaroscuro” Head

My comment on a YouTube video re: “Assertive vs. Turbulent” results on the online MBTI assessment:

We’re all ENFPs living in an ISTJ world, and that can be stressful when your life is lived in cycles or episodes rather than boring old linear time. I’m definitely an ENFP-T, but my Turbulence (Traumas) have made deeper as well as darker. I happen to think the juxtaposition of light and dark (chiaroscuro) is more beautiful than light alone.

From Nerdwriter1’s YouTube channel

I learned the term chiaroscuro during my upper school years at a private prep school in Atlanta, where we took weekly vocabulary quizzes from a workbook called “Wordly Wise.”

We took these quizzes – that tested our spelling and comprehension of approximately 15 new words per week – every week of every year of upper school (grades 9-12).

Since neuroscience tells me my brain was still developing at that age, I credit this process for building a large vocabulary in my head. I believe Wordly Wise is the reason I remember the meanings of odd words like “bivouac” and “chiaroscuro” over 35 years later.

So,thank you, Wordly Wise!  
By providing me with an arsenal of words, you’ve enabled me to better understand my inner and outer worlds.

Post Photo: A Philosopher Lecturing on the Orrery, a 1766 painting by Joseph Wright of Derby, demonstrates the use of chiaroscuro lighting in his work.