Dear Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Whoever Created WordPress and Dropbox, and Steve Jobs (yes, I know)

Would you please quit fighting with each other and trying to exploit me?

Let’s start with the issue of “storage”: you all know what you’re doing, and you’re greedy motherfuckers.

Just because I made the decision to TRY OUT YOUR PRODUCTS between 10 and 25 years ago does NOT mean I owe you my forever-allegiance.

Yet you’re starting to act very entitled about my patronage.

You’re threatening me every five minutes that if I won’t upgrade to YOUR storage package, I’m in danger of losing my precious digital mementos and files.

Not to mention, it pisses me off that as an 11-year loyal iPhone customer, STEVE (from wherever; I won’t speculate) gets pissed off that I just bought a chrome-cast and then JEFF gets mad that I also purchased an Asis tablet thingy PURELY to access my Microsoft Office files.

Yes, yes, yes…THANK YOU BILL‼️

Because we all know YOU are THE MAN‼️

Who’s richer than every last one of us…

…can either hope or imagine being;

Than we can even wrap our little penniless brains around.

So WHY are you all fighting?? You have SO MUCH MORE than the buyers of your products, yet you are relentless in your pursuit of our meager funds! And relative to what you GUYS have, our millionaires have “meager funds.”

Plus, it also irritates me that ALL of my electronic devices are CONFUSED and REFUSE to talk to each other! Not even my Bluetooth earbuds will communicate with anyone other than my IPhone. So I’m blaming Y’ALL for the current discord in my family!

Whoever thought the World’s Biggest Billionaires had the time to orchestrate something like that?

P.S. I paid the extortion fee for “premium services” from all of you. Like all good peasants, I realized if I wanted to stay in business, I had to relent.

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